Genius.

Stumbling across dream width

2012-10-05T13:46:58Z

I can definitely say, it's been a while; years in fact. So much has happened with those years: Happiness, trouble, Depression, Old habits, new friends, new locations. Oh boy, I have allot to write, to whom ever still reads this.

Updates tomorrow night.

A.Xxo.

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anthroapparition @ 2011-05-23T19:54:00

2011-05-23T09:54:32Z

NEED TO FIND MY ALLERGY MEDS!.

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Hello!

2011-05-21T08:07:51Z

Wow it's been ages since I've been here, i must post more often!. Saturday night, basically poor until Tuesday but i do have wine!.Apart from that there's not a lot to post about my life at this point. Hopefully will finally Finnish cleaning my room then maybe some drawing.

A.Xxo.

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Housemate's: go fuck yourself.

2011-03-21T10:02:22Z

Ugh.

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Aunty!

2011-01-12T11:22:42Z

I'm an Aunt!. I would totally post a photo but I'm quite positive i only have one follower ha ha.She has already seen my pictures. But yes! beautiful baby girl.

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Whoa.

2010-12-14T11:22:15Z

Man.It's been a long time since i have ventured onto this website.Oh the things i have blog.So much has happened since my last blog. I have internet again so all is well and i will update whoever wants to read this tomorrow.

A.Xxo.

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Blonde.

2010-08-12T12:34:36Z

So by My change of icon, its pretty clear that I dyed My hair blond/ and or in the process of doing it.
I decided to do it for fun, i don't know maybe it will actually suit. Either way eventually I'll dye it black again. Its been my color for years.

Apart from this, nothing else has happened. Though my birthday is coming up I'm trying to get away with as little birthday wishes as i can. My phone will be switched off as well. I hate birthday calls because i have to actually pretend to be excited and in all honesty as nice as the gesture is, I hate birthday calls.

That's about it.

A.Xxo.

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Learning Bass

2010-07-19T13:07:37Z

Have now played good enough to start to actually hear songs. I have played the start of ' come as you are ' Nirvana. and the bridge chorus of ' dismantle me ' the distillers. Yes this is a great accomplishment. I still suck but I'm teaching myself so.

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Needing to vent.

2010-07-18T11:58:46Z

Hi all.

Everything I seem to post on here is ranting or me being annoyed about something. Though this time I really feel that I need to vent somewhere about this. So here goes..

So anyone who has known me for a long times knows that I have had ' Mother ' issues from a young age. She left Me and my siblings when I was two because she was sleeping with another man. We didn't see her allot while growing and Me being the youngest.It hurt me allot not knowing why i didn't have a mom or why i had never seen her allot. I generally grew up as an unhappy child because of those feelings, so without my mom knowing, she was already a big part of my life even when she wasn't there.

When I was eleven I had gotten into contact with her and was excited that I had a Mom. While growing up, my Father and siblings told me that My mom had her problems and was an alcoholic.This is why we never had seen her much but i never listened. I have always wanted to ' experience ' things for Myself. When i was eleven i finally moved in with my mom and was happy that I finally had her. She was great for the first year. really she was. But when i started high school who she really was started to come through. She drank, and verbally and sometimes physically abused but yet i still wanted to stay. Long story short. My teenage years were miserable. I got insomnia. Depression. Anxiety. My friends wouldn't even want to stay over.

Yet despite this, I still loved her and still do. She is My Mother. When I was sixteen I was kicked out of home and have been moving on ever since. Now to get to the point.

Over the years, I have sorted out my problems with her and accepted the fact that she will always be the way she is and won't stop drinking. She is okay. She helps me out with money and such when she can. But only at a price and tonight i remembered that when she called me.

I was telling her how i went out with My dad ( she asked ). Yes i told her i drank and vomited once as you do. Now to clear this next part up. I don't go out and drink all the time. In fact i barely do, so when i do i like to drink lots. My Mom knows i rarely drink but decided to get pissed off at the fact that i was with my dad and those two will always be with battle to each other, mainly my mom. She told me out of all things that ' my drinking was getting out of hand '. I couldn't help it and snapped. I said " out of all people to tell me that i drink to much, you are definitely not the right person ". No I did not regret it because its true and she finally needs to hear it. She snapped and told me " who am i to talk when i barely have my life in order and need to borrow money from time to time ". This is what pisses me off the most. The woman who was barely there for me, who by the way is an alcoholic. To tell me that I have a drinking problem when i barely drink and when i snap at her with the truth to try and tell me she is better than Me. She is right though, my life isn't in order and why?. Because I'm a 19 year old kid, kicked out of home at 16 and having to survive on my own. So of course my life isn't perfectly in order. I'm still a baby for ch**** sake!. Then she goes on to tell me that she has a house and a job and a husband. What? and I'm suppose to at 19?. When i told her she of course used her ' money ' against me by telling me that i have to get her to give me money. In my opinion, its the least she could do.

In conclusion I have learned that she will unfortunately change and that breaks my heart because i have spent my life trying to impress her and even when she destroyed me, i still can't help but want her in my life and to make her proud of me and i shouldn't have to. The sadest thing is that everyone agrees that she needs to grow up.Who is she to tell me what i need to do when she was and still is barely there for herself or was for her own kids. She didn't know me and still barely does. I will always love her but she continues to hurt me but at least this time I'm prepared for it and have my guard up.She try's to be a good Mother but sometimes she doesn't try hard enough.

Anyway I'm sorry to trouble you all with my foolish life just had to vent and breath.

A.xxo.

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Weirdest conversation of my life!.

2010-06-30T12:37:14Z

Okay, so I'm moving to Brisbane. I called a guy for a potential house share. All was great until...

He decided to tell me he was a nudist. No offense to nudist but at this point i was knew i wasn't going to take the place but wait! he continues to tell me that he likes to jack off in front of house mates and that he likes to be himself. Then goes to tell me that its ' okay ' he cums on himself not the furniture ( oh what a relief! NOT ) but wait there's more!. Apparently his house mates like to time him jacking off and he was excited to tell me this that his speed record is 30 seconds ( oh yay!). Apart from that he feels that its accepting and that he just likes to relax. Oh! and to Finnish it all off. When i went to hang up, he said he wanted to go jerk off now.

OMG.

A.xxo.

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Back home

2010-06-20T04:48:23Z

So. Yesterday I returned to Sydney from My visit to see My Mother.

I came back and My kitten has grown so fast!, she is also fat. ha ha.

Now I am looking into pilate's sessions and decided to get health cover. Not in that order I just thought its time for health cover it has nothing to do with starting pilate's.

Still Job searching. Apart from that nothing really new has happened.

A.xxo.

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Red wine and Sex in the city.

2010-05-28T13:18:22Z

Two glasses of red wine and four episodes of Sex and the city and I'm nearly ready for bed!.

It sort of makes me wonder. A girl My age should be out every night partying it up and all that. Yet i choose to sit at home and drink wine and watch a show about woman in the big city and relationship pro's and con's. Thing is. I like it!. I like the red wine and the agreeableness ( that's actually a word! ) that i can have with the show. As a Woman in Sydney. I couldn't relate more.

Don't get me wrong. I love going out and having a party. i do. Just not every weekend. Its good to have a few drinks and have a date with your TV. At least I can wake up in a familiar bed, not be so hungover and not completely regret what i did that night.

In conclusion.

I love you red wine and sex in the city!. Any thoughts on this?.

A.xxo.

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I'm fine.

2010-05-26T04:48:31Z

I just realised alot of my post are rants or shit wrong. Sorry but apart from all that I am fine really life is great and Miss Jillian Bean is getting big! ( my cat )

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Fuck this.

2010-05-26T04:45:22Z

STRESS.

fuck since this new " cut caffeine " thing I sound like an addict. Seriously My Mum was freaking because I was stuttering and shaking on the phone. This cut down on caffeine is great really but I feel so damn stressed!. Now I have a plane trip and assessments to plan.

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Pilates

2010-05-23T02:48:31Z

I want to start Pilate s.

That is all.

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Insomnia

2010-05-21T00:32:13Z

The best news ever! ( well for Me ).

Whoever doesn't know. I have had insomnia since I was 15. Its been worse as I have aged. Well Yesterday for the first time in Months since it returned I actually went to bed at 4am then the normal 6am and! woke at 9pm. It sounds crazy really but it really is great. I hate not being awake or being able to stay awake in the day time. Its why i look horrible ( really ).Anyway I unfortunately couldn't stay awake the whole day but it was really good that i stuck it out as long as i did.

Last night I got to bed at 1:30am and woke at 9:20am and! I am still awake :). Its such a relief. The only down side is that my allergy's are killing me at the moment as they do in the mornings but I have taken my tablet so all is good!. Though I think a visit to the doctor is in order.

I just had to share this.

Over and out!.

A.xxo.

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Update

2010-05-14T15:11:42Z

Hi all.

First of all. How do i get an image to show on my post?. I tried and it won't work.
On Wednesday I found out that I am going to be Aunt. It is such great news!. When My Sister told Me i was on the train so of course when i shouted ' yes! ' it made people turn their heads in my direction. My sister has been trying for a while so she really does deserve it.

slowly learning how to use photo shop. I'm usually good with technology even though i despise it a great deal. I'm still a great drawer and shitty painter. How completely inconvenient.

Think that about it.

A.xxo.

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Longt time no post.

2010-05-02T10:17:56Z

Well , after last nights/ really early morning post seemed to have worked finally. I am now going to make a really long post filling whoever is ' subscribed ' to Me on My extremely interesting life - Insert sarcasm here -.

First of all. I haven't been able to post for a while due to Dream width telling me that I was trying to post something earlier than the date of my previous post. This completely confusing the shit out of Me,I got angry and decided ' fuck you Dream width ' and was off. Waited for about a month and decided to figure this out!.
Turns out, when i posted my last post the date had said ' 19 sep 2019 '. What the hell!. I then realized that a game i used to play ran on my computers clock ( its was like Sims, so the ' Sims ' lived their lives according to my computers time ).Numerous times i had cheated and fast forwarded my computers clock to make them age etc. So dream width was all of a sudden confused with why i was trying to post something in may 2010 when my last post was done in sep 2019.Any way that's what happened. If you actually got any of that then i applaud you.

Seriously.

With Dream width problems sorted, let me continue on my way over due update.

Lets start with Miss Jillian Bean ( my kitten ). She has been growing fast, just like any other kitten. I'm quite positive I'm raising a monster though. Seriously she loves me and I love her but she try's to tear me apart with every opportunity that arises ( which is all the time ).Her little teeth are killing me,really. She likes to fight the air.I mean that to. She has boxing matches with nothing at all.Its very amusing.
Because of College I have to be out of the house three days a week,so i thought I would buy an automatic cat biscuit dispenser.Fill it up and when the bowl is empty, more biscuits fall into it. For days I was getting really annoyed because all the kibble would be all over the floor when I woke up.I thought this product was faulty. I was wrong. Yesterday morning I was woken by scraping noises.Turns out Miss Bean was pulling the kibble out, despite the fact that the bowl was already full of om noms for her!.She is a real piece of work. Either way I'm glad I have her.She may be a terror but she is my terror.I love my mini monster ( who at the moment is sleeping peacefully beside Me ).

I moved. I'm still in Sydney though, just a little further away from the city center. I was living with my friend in New town. The problem was, We were sharing a room!. I have, since I moved here because its cheaper. I hate it. In the end I had to part with this arrangement because as much as the girl is a good person, she is gross. I admit, I'm messy but this girl never cleaned up after herself and I was receiving all the blame. She would leave chewed gum everywhere and used ear wads.In my opinion that's just dirty. No matter how many times I told her, she would get defensive.I never won. The main problem was that she had so much stuff to the point that I couldn't access anything in the room that was mine. She was mentally and physically draining me.
Now, I have my own room!. Its so great. Its been years since I have had my own room.I appreciate it so much.Never will I share again. Definitely need my own space!.

As with study's. I have an art assignment due on ' Surrealism '.I love art. Hate art theory.In my opinion,its boring and a waste of time.
Speaking of Art.I am working on a new, I guess what is called a series?. I'm not sure.They will be called ' the living dead girls ' .Basically they are 6 girls from different situations but they are dead. Its hard to explain until I can show pictures. When i'm done, i shall post.

NCIS. I don't watch TV. Haven't in a long time, so i only have a few favorite shows. One of them is NCIS.Love the show. I found the dvd's on special so I got them.In conclusion, I think I'm watching way to much of that show!. Can't help it.

Oh yeah. Forgot. I have a new tattoo!. Its around my wrist and says ' Number 13 Baby '.Will post photo's next time.

Okay, so the post wasn't hugely long but its My life up to now.

Hope you enjoyed. Inserted is a picture of my kitten in one of her weird but many poses.

A.xxo.

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Working?

2010-05-01T17:14:11Z

Just posting to see if Dreamwidth will finally start letting me post. if so then i will post something more relevant tomorrow.

Until tomorrow.

A.xxo

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Typing test.

2010-04-11T07:55:35Z

Song Playing: ' Playing your song '- Hole.

Okay so Today I applied for a job as junior secretery ( sorry if My spelling is wrong ). So I sent of a cover letter ect...

So, I recieved a reply from the company saying that they are interested and that I should send in My resume and how many words I type per minute. I decided to take an online test to see how many words I actually do type a minute. In school i remember it being quite allot.

I failed the typing test and got 30 words a minute. This is bullshit! I'm a fast typer. Getting to the point. Its all My keyboards fault. For one, You have to literally smash the spacebar down just to get it to ' space '. Second, Keys are missing, though it shouldn't be a reason because i'm used to typing it without those keys now. Lastly, All these damn keys are stiff! and I swear as I write this, the text is either freezing as I type or they are simply typing letters in doubles.i have now actually discovered that over the years of having a shitty key board My typing skills have actually dropped to accommodate my key board. Now I smash in the keys to get them to work, I'm always ' backspacing ' because there is a guarantee mistake my keyboard has made due to freezing.

This really sucks! and I can't replace this board because its built into My laptop. So now I have to find another way to get my typing speed and hope I'm still as good as I used to be.

Okay My rant is over, Just thought I'd express my frustion.

From one shitty keyboard to another.

A.xxo

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Just joined.

2010-04-10T12:43:21Z

Current song on My player ' Tell Me so ' - Bikini Kill.

No, I actually have no particular reason why I show which song is on My player at the time i write this. Just thought I'd let you know.

Finally I have joined!.

Thats all I have for now.

ps. Just found out you can post what music your listening to. Well! i have already done it.

Bye.

A.xxo

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